Commercial

I was in my living room awhile ago talking to my ridiculous roommate Grant (who is ridiculous).
The TV was on in the background playing a DVR'd episode of E.R.
We were talking the nonsense we normally talk (namely me chastising Grant for wearing nothing but a bathrobe, and sandwich crumbs).
Suddenly this commercial came on



Hallmark had me from (baby squeal sound).
I had no idea what was being sold, only that I would purchase it.

I'd love to be able to say that I'm not the type to be suckered in by cutesy commercials, but that would absolutely be a lie.
I am Joe "Everday American" Lohman. If it's got a catchy jingle, a baby, or a puppy involved in it then I am on board.

This presents a problem as I move through life trying to have a career in comedy.
Oftentimes comedy is used as a tool to pick apart disagreeable aspects of society.
In the past, famous satirists have become the main voices of revolution, leading their fellow citizens to greener pastures.

What the hell am I going to be the voice of?


Sears?

-nicholas